As many of you know, one of my sons died by suicide a few months ago. Coping
with the aftermath of his loss has been an incredibly challenging and painful
journey, that has often required time, patience, and support. In the wake of such
a devastating loss, it's been essential to acknowledge and work through a myriad
of emotions that I’ve felt. Grief, guilt, confusion, and anger can be overwhelming,
creating a complex emotional landscape that needs careful navigation.
Initially, the shock and disbelief dominated my feelings, making it difficult to
comprehend the reality of him no longer being here. I’m not quite sure there is a
loss that hits on the same level as losing one’s child. As time progresses, my
emotions often give way to profound sadness and a sense of loss that feels
insurmountable. And, though I don’t personally feel it, the guilt that some of his
siblings and friends feel can be particularly debilitating, as questions of "what if"
and "why" haunt their minds.
Working through these emotions has involved a combination of self-reflection,
professional support, and connecting with others who have experienced similar
tragedies. A new friend who also lost his daughter put it so fittingly. He said, “we
are part of a very exclusive club that no one wants to belong to.” No truer words
have ever been stated. At times I must allow myself the space to mourn and
acknowledge my pain. If I find myself getting stuck, I will seek therapy or
counseling that can provide a safe and confidential environment to explore my
emotions, so I can get guidance on coping mechanisms and strategies for healing.
Moreover, connecting with my support network has been more important than
ever – friends and family have alleviated the isolation that often accompanies my
grief. Talking with other parents and who have lost a loved one from suicide has
also been of great value. Sharing my experiences and emotions with those who
understand the unique challenges of losing a loved one to suicide has fostered a
sense of community and understanding.
While my journey towards healing is neither linear nor easy, I know that seeking
help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Through time, self-compassion, and
support, I know I will gradually work through all my emotions and find a path
towards acceptance and resilience in the face of this devastating loss.
with the aftermath of his loss has been an incredibly challenging and painful
journey, that has often required time, patience, and support. In the wake of such
a devastating loss, it's been essential to acknowledge and work through a myriad
of emotions that I’ve felt. Grief, guilt, confusion, and anger can be overwhelming,
creating a complex emotional landscape that needs careful navigation.
Initially, the shock and disbelief dominated my feelings, making it difficult to
comprehend the reality of him no longer being here. I’m not quite sure there is a
loss that hits on the same level as losing one’s child. As time progresses, my
emotions often give way to profound sadness and a sense of loss that feels
insurmountable. And, though I don’t personally feel it, the guilt that some of his
siblings and friends feel can be particularly debilitating, as questions of "what if"
and "why" haunt their minds.
Working through these emotions has involved a combination of self-reflection,
professional support, and connecting with others who have experienced similar
tragedies. A new friend who also lost his daughter put it so fittingly. He said, “we
are part of a very exclusive club that no one wants to belong to.” No truer words
have ever been stated. At times I must allow myself the space to mourn and
acknowledge my pain. If I find myself getting stuck, I will seek therapy or
counseling that can provide a safe and confidential environment to explore my
emotions, so I can get guidance on coping mechanisms and strategies for healing.
Moreover, connecting with my support network has been more important than
ever – friends and family have alleviated the isolation that often accompanies my
grief. Talking with other parents and who have lost a loved one from suicide has
also been of great value. Sharing my experiences and emotions with those who
understand the unique challenges of losing a loved one to suicide has fostered a
sense of community and understanding.
While my journey towards healing is neither linear nor easy, I know that seeking
help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Through time, self-compassion, and
support, I know I will gradually work through all my emotions and find a path
towards acceptance and resilience in the face of this devastating loss.
My son’s memory will stay with me forever. And I often find myself smiling or
laughing to myself thinking about some of our times together. Death may kill a
life, but it doesn’t kill the relationship.
If you’ve lost a child or a loved one to suicide, my deepest heartfelt prayers go out
to you. I understand your pain. I am thankful that I have been able to lean on my
faith, friends and family for support and encouragement……..including my Rotary
Family. Be sure to lean on yours!
laughing to myself thinking about some of our times together. Death may kill a
life, but it doesn’t kill the relationship.
If you’ve lost a child or a loved one to suicide, my deepest heartfelt prayers go out
to you. I understand your pain. I am thankful that I have been able to lean on my
faith, friends and family for support and encouragement……..including my Rotary
Family. Be sure to lean on yours!
President Stan Edwards